Of Randy Shrine Maidens and Reluctant Listeners
by Kali Hina
Summary: Alice Margatroid will often later wonder how she ended up in this situation. Not to mention become incredibly jealous of the shrine maiden in front of her. M rated for language. Reimu x Sanae minific.


Of Lascivious Shrine Maidens and Reluctant Listeners

Alice Margatroid will often later wonder how she ended up in this situation. Not to mention becoming incredibly jealous of the shrine maiden in front of her. M rated for language.

Reimu x Sanae, Alice Margatroid

.

.

Alice Margatroid liked to think that at least once a month she had a 'normal day.' A day in which absolutely nothing happened. No experiment of Marisa's suddenly exploding in her home without warning, no surprise visits from a purple bookish magician because the head maid wanted her to 'socialize,' no sadistic flower-loving youkai just happening to pass by her home and reminding her that she was always welcome for tea at her sunflower field surrounded home. Yes, a day where Alice wouldn't be stressed, traumatized, or terrified by the day's events.

Today wasn't it.

"Alice, how do you tell a green-haired shrine maiden you, uh, don't want to have sex?" Reimu asked when she arrived at the Hakurei Shrine that morning to deliver some extra freshly-made bread and muffins. Sanae was currently out shopping, which was why Reimu was asking a rather inappropriate question.

Now sitting inside with a cup of tea in front of her, the sharp and attentive puppeteer ever eloquently said, "What."

"Er, well. You see, the last few weeks, Sanae has been really…horny. So every day, we've been doing it," Reimu explained pinkily, mistaking Alice's exclamation as an prompt for more information. "It's nice, but I'm really worn out doing it for so many days in a row. Sometimes I'm not in the mood, and we'd still do it. Plus the last few days, she's been wanting to have sex a lot more than once or twice. I honestly can't keep up and don't know what to do."

Reimu realized she perhaps been talking a bit too bluntly and embarrassingly said, "So, uh, what do you think?"

Alice had to resist making a snarky comment about the red and white shrine maiden looking at her for honest-to-good advice about her super active sex life, whereas she and Marisa only engaged in it a few times a month. But being the good and not-in-the least-bit-jealous friend that she was, she instead replied with, "Tell her you don't want to?"

"I have," Reimu asserted but then blushed harder than before. "But she's really persuasive at times."

One didn't need to try hard to imagine what Alice's reaction was to this answer. However, she wasn't the 'straight man' in a comedy duo for nothing (it was kind of needed when you were in a relationship with Marisa Kirisame). So while under that cool unshaken expression she had on her face was unfathomable jealousy, she supportively said, "Reimu, you need to firmly tell her you don't want to do it. I've never known you to bend to other people, and certainly not so during incidents. You're the Hakurei Shrine maiden, after all."

Reimu considered her words and visibly brightened. "You're right. I'm the Shrine Maiden of Paradise. I didn't get this far by being a softie! Thanks Alice! You're the best friend I never had!"

"…You're welcome, Reimu," Alice blandly reciprocated, and she sipped her lukewarm tea.

.

.

_Three days later_

.

.

"Ahhh, maybe I am a softie," Reimu said face down on the table.

Out of morbid curiosity and a little worry for the shrine maiden, Alice visited the Hakurei Shrine again after three days with another batch of freshly baked goods. Once again, Sanae was out performing an errand. Upon landing in front of the sliding doors to the living room, she saw Reimu looking more tired than usual. Evidently, her advice did not go well.

Alice took a seat across from her. "What happened?"

"I underestimated her pent up libido," Reimu recalled, shivering a little. "The first day was very peaceful. But by the second night, she couldn't take it anymore. And, well…let's just say I haven't left our bed except to eat and bathe until this morning."

Once again, Alice had to remind herself that she was _not_ jealous of the two shrine maidens and especially not jealous of their love life. She put her thinking cap back on and went over her options.

"Perhaps you should go on a date to distract her?"

"I'm not sure how that will help," Reimu responded, lifting her head a little. "If anything, it will just make her more...impatient."

Alice shrugged. "It's worth a shot. I'm sure not all couples have sex all the time."

.

.

"Nope. Apparently we do," Reimu reported another few days later, appearing much worse for wear. "Went to the lake and did it in the bushes. I'm fairly certain the fairies were watching, too."

"Have sex first thing in the morning?"

.

.

"That just makes her want to do it at any time of the day now. Also, I'm not sure these suggestions are working. If anything, it's making her a lot more open and daring now."

"You're the one with the libidinous girlfriend, Reimu, not me."

.

.

"Alice, why did you suggest I put on a bunny outfit for her!? Why did I even agree to it in the first place?!"

.

.

It was perhaps not unexpected that, at this point, Sanae eventually caught on to these strange meetings between her lover and Alice. When Alice came over to the shrine for the fourteenth time to discuss the current failure, she was only mildly surprised to find Sanae there for once with Reimu. But deeply tongue kissing the red and white shrine maiden out in the open and not paying any attention to their surroundings. The puppeteer watched in fascination as Reimu writhed and trembled under Sanae's administrations. When they finally released, she saw Reimu's eyes were very glazed over, and the poor girl was panting infrequently.

"Oh, Alice," Sanae greeted when she finally noticed their accidental voyeur. "It's great to finally see you."

"Hello Sanae," Alice said, taking care not to stray her eyes from the green-haired sex deviant's own eyes.

"I have to thank you for helping out Reimu with a few things," Sanae thanked with the biggest smile on her face, "Ever since you started secretly meeting with Reimu, we've been having a super duper lovely love life!"

"Uhm, you're welcome?"

Sanae reached up and began fondling Reimu's body, to which the subdued girl let out a well-trained moan. It sounded so sinful to Alice's ears.

Alice deeply blushed and coughed. "I'll just leave this food basket and leave. Have a good day you too."

The puppeteer quickly dropped her basket on the table. But as she turned to leave, Sanae's salacious voice rang out, "If you need any help pleasuring Marisa, you can ask me."

Alice nearly ran out the sliding doors and flew straight up into the air.

She speedily flew back home, wanting to feel comfort within the safety of her home and Marisa's arms. To her utter despair, Sanae's parting offer kept replaying over and over in her head like some tempting but forbidden fruit. Right about the time she arrived above her forest-surrounded abode, something finally snapped inside of her, and Alice grit her teeth in determination.

No way in hell was she going to let the rival couple beat her.

.

.


End file.
